You’ve got the love

I am no longer a fan of romantic statements that try to pass themselves off as “deep” and/or “literary.” You see, I used to be a sucker for romantic comedies and was envious of girls who got large bouquets and serenades in the middle of class. In fact, a long Valentine’s day ago, I was disappointed for a while cause boy Y didn’t seem to have a surprise for me. Then two Valentines from then, I got mad at current guy for not giving me a “good enough” surprise.

The problem with romantic movies, comedies, and those silly e-mail forwards about “true love”, is that they set women up for unrealistic expectations. I was an unlucky victim.

 

Single folks put Valentines into perspective: Why should you force yourself to be sweet on one particular day? Isn’t it more heart felt and touching if it was done on another, unexpected date? It’s also much cheaper and less of a rip off if you give flowers and chocolates in the summer.

So, are over priced roses really worth the extra celebration?

I can happily say YES, it is. Roses, chocolates, and a delicious dinner is worth all that trouble if you’re enjoying all that with the right person. And I got to enjoy all that on the 15th of February with someone who has taught me that happiness is a choice, and it’s a feeling worth fighting for once you’ve conquered every other negative feeling and aspect together.

For those who are still lamenting at single hood: happiness can be found in loving yourself, your friends, and your current state in life. After all, that’s what we couples do come Vday. So don’t cry over unrealistic expectations from Hollywood–instead, look at the wonderful things life has given you. Love is all you really need, and it doesn’t have to come in sweeping romantic declarations.

 

 

My latest boob tube obsession

After months of delay, I finally got down to watching Downton Abbey, a gripping show for proper English speaking enthusiasts and period piece fashion enthusiasts.

One cannot quite say what this show is exactly about–to put it at its simplest, “it’s about life.” And even though it revolves around the lives of the artistocratic Crawley family and their servants, a working class “commoner” like me found instances so close to the workplace and within friendship/family relationship.

Then, there’s the period fashion!

The posh ladies of the Crowley family.

The three beautiful Crowley sisters. In the middle is my new style icon: Lady Mary.

What draws me to Lady Mary’s style are the elegant drapes and simple but eye catching patterns in her dresses.

There’s also her coats and long skirts, which can easily be worn in today’s work setting!

And it certainly helps that she’s got some arm and eye candy to dress well for.

Yes, I’m a sucker for a gentleman. If only the ways of flirting back, seeking genuine passion, and polite exchange back then could be brought to today’s age of women’s rights.

And yes, after my Morgana medieval dress phase, I’ve moved on to this similar piece from Lita Gown. Thank you onefabday.com!

Obviously this could be yet-another-style-phase, but I think I’ll start canvassing for blouses and skirts that bear a similarity to Downton’s age. Here’s to hoping I have fruitful finds!

Pre-birthday reflection

Once upon a time, I told myself I wouldn’t grow up to be bitter, angry, jaded, and cynical.

Ten years later (more or less), and I end up contradicting my then self.

My twenty-something self will turn twenty-something again in nine days. I’ve been finding myself reflecting on adult stuff (taxes, property, investments, a career, a family, marriage, all that jazz) during the commute home—mostly terrified that I am not even halfway towards the financial stability my parents have provided for us during my last twenty-something years. I watch teen shows for the trash, but follow the post-college ‘kids’ religiously to sympathize with their no go career, bills (and more bills) to pay, and relationship woes. And when I watch the former, I always say “ah you’re young. You’ll find someone else!” or “Eh, not like she’s supporting herself.”

Yes, 14-year-old me did not predict her 24-year-old future self to be terrified and absolutely confused as to where the rest of her life is headed.

Dear 14-year-old self,

I’m sorry I’ve become jaded about my future. I’m sorry that I lament more about how life is unfair rather than making things happen for me and the rest of this nation. I’m also sorry to say that your boobs will still be small at this age.

Having said that, life isn’t all that bad. You will end up having moments of cynicism and drinking to forget about the stresses of the job. But you won’t be doing that alone. You’ll still be with the friends you have now, and you’ll meet so many more that will listen as you whine, laugh with you as you make a joke out of it, or simply dance with you as you both forget—even momentarily—how you didn’t quite grow up to become what you envisioned.

Okay, my last sentence isn’t helping either. But your older self will need these cynicisms. You’ll need the reality check, because otherwise, your idealistic, gung-ho, reach for the stars self, won’t be ready to face the failure, rejection, frustration, or general blah-ness that comes with reaching your dreams. You will need these bad feelings, events, and yes, people, to remind you that there are hurdles and challenges to overcome. The realization of dreams aren’t handed to you—I’m sure you know this much. You know you have to work hard for it, no matter how long it takes. And you can’t feel entitled after a year or two of working your ass off for those dreams. No, don’t! Because once your mood gets the best of you, people will close the doors because of your attitude. No, you need to realize that there’s more to be done. That you have so much more potential to fulfill and you haven’t quite acquired everything you need. Life is forever a learning process, and whatever your age, there will always be something new to know.

And that’s when your optimism and idealism steps in. It steps in to balance your reality checks, so that it doesn’t discourage you from your goals.

So yeah, the only thing you really don’t have to look forward to? A flat chest. But…spoiler alert! Someone will love you, and want to keep them (and the rest of you) that way.

Xoxo,

Your twenty something self

 

Dear Facebook

No, I don’t want to inform my feed which specific articles I’ve read on Yahoo! and The Guardian.

It’s terrifying. It’s as if someone is watching me from across the window, reading over my shoulder, and is getting to know me through the links I click.

Yes, I realize I should only add people I know personally on Facebook (which I do). I also realize most of my friends have the same interests as me, so I will benefit from the list of articles they’ve read.

But do I really need a complete list of what they’ve been reading? It feels like an unnecessary progress report–or a conversation striker for a creepy stranger, whichever your preference.

Thank God we have a choice NOT to opt for this app. It just irks me to see it every time.

 

THIS

Do you have that one song you ALWAYS sing along to when it comes on the radio? It’s that song you know all the words too, no matter how long it’s been since you’ve last played it on your computer/car radio/iPod/stereo. If you’re old enough, you used to loop it on its album CD. And since I am old enough, only a select few of my friends actually know this song.

My song is Summer Romance by Incubus. I was crossing my fingers during their concert, hoping they’d play it. But alas, it was a promotional concert. Nonetheless, I sort of got my wish seeing this live video of them playing MY SONG at Mountan View.

And just when I thought it was amazing enough to hear them play it again live, Mike Einziger surprises me with an incredible guitar solo. Guhhhh.

Great way to start my morning, along with my cup of ca phe! 🙂