A resolution

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It may be too late to be making any “New Year” resolutions, but I’m posting this image taken by good friend Nikki anyway.

I went into 2014 not knowing what lay ahead. I had a pretty good first day of 2014. I was happy. Like every other first year, I was at home, waiting for 12am with my family and welcoming it with free fireworks from our neighbors. I got a flurry of Happy New Year messages and I responded back happy. I didn’t mind being at home. I didn’t mind being single. I was in a better place than January 2013, considering what lay ahead then.

Yet I didn’t know what the rest of the year would be like. We all go into a new year, a new month, a new day with some sort of expectation–the rush hour commute, seeing so and so at work, eating at your favorite lunch place. Last year, I was still recovering from a job loss but I knew the rest of the year would be spent getting back on my feet.

I had no idea what lay ahead in 2014 back in January. After five years, I came into the year single. I was in a job that was okay, but not much else. I came into the year with no idea what lay ahead but I was ready for whatever it had to offer. I guess it was that new beginning, a sort of palimpsest that I haven’t had in a looooooong time, relationship-, career-, and social-life wise.

Fast forward to now: I got out of that okay job. The decision made me anxious for a few weeks. An opening came up in January at a certain food website. I wasn’t sure about jumping ship so soon–and then, there was no guarantee I’d get the job. It wasn’t in my nature to leave a position so soon and test the waters in a place I was barely familiar with. But I was overthinking even applying and like my friends told me, there’s nothing lost by sending an email. Well, look where that got me 🙂

So one night, slightly tipsy from my drink, I said to Nikki,

“Applying for that job was my brave thing in January. I need to do something brave in February.”

I think I did. I sorta did. I spent a few days overthinking it, haha. But I did it anyway. It’s nothing dramatic, but considering everything I’ve been through feelings wise I’d say it’s a bit of a speed walk.

I’m looking forward to more brave moments. Not rash, not stupid. Maybe a little stupid. Brave.

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