“Samahan ng mga walang buhay.” -Espartinez, 2012
“GAL club. Get a life club.”
If I were to sum up the last three months, these two new names for our little overtime group at work says it all. Chasing deadlines has always been my forte, but it’s a whole another case when you have to learn new skills outside your inclination (read: alam ko na talaga ang meaning ng “export” at CMYK), have class requirements to consider, and you’re only four individuals working on the production of TWO magazines. Yes, four is to two.
And it’s not yet over. It’s Saturday morning, and I know my to do list hasn’t ended. But I need to stop, even for just one morning, and set everything into perspective. As much as I have always wanted to be a career woah-man, my body and soul have insisted otherwise. Empowered movies about ladies in heels walking up and down a business district don’t show the exhaustion when you get home at 11pm. It may look glamorous to be opening up a bottle of wine at said hour, but clinking that glass with someone is a lot more fun than drinking it alone to get to sleep. I don’t give up–I never have, ever since I took 12 units twice just to graduate–and I won’t. But the toll the extra work has taken makes me wonder if the finish will be grand. But such questions don’t have to be answered now; they will be answered at the right time and I simply have to do what matters for the present.
Work woes aside, I have definitely been enjoying school. It’s allowed me to step away from work without feeling guilty about being ‘unproductive.’ It exposes me to the ‘last bastion of decency,’ (as my professor puts it) which is the classroom and opens my mind to the possibilities of the future as I learn something new twice a week and every time I start on my readings. School is tiring, but it doesn’t make me want to wonder why I’m resigned to its fate. It’s nice to be starting and hoping to finish something that doesn’t have a totally uncertain future (read: a good grade).
C’est la vie. Even if it tends to be lifeless. Okay, lifeless is exagerrated. Productive? I don’t know. I just hope when I have a lazy day to spend, I know how to spend it well. :))