Moving on vs settling

It certainly feels like ages since I’ve last updated my blog–or written something down for that matter. Not that I write for a living, which I still do, but lately, it’s required more editing, rephrasing, and organizing/reorganizing. My job mainly requires putting things together, in the midst of missed and rarely followed deadlines. My endless to-do list can get overwhelming, but I manage to get through each day with caffeine, laughter with co-workers, and the occasional night-outs with the TPD (thrice and counting? ;).

But once that to-do list is done, I can only wonder what’s left. I don’t want my job to define me. I realize there’s so much more, and that’s the downside to being merely employed. Your ‘growth’, ‘opportunities’, vacation days, and free hours are set by rules. I am lucky to have a job that has set hours, and not-so-much work on the weekends. But I will always find reasons to complain since not everything is in my control. The question then is, where and how do I find a balance? There’s all this talk about finding a “job that doesn’t feel like a job”, but being realistic, a steady income and benefits do have their advantages. And of course, whatever company or form of self-employment I eventually find myself in, there will be other sources of stress and disadvantages. It’s all a matter of compromise, I guess. Do the pros outweigh the cons, or vice-versa?

At the moment, I’m not quite sure. The biggest pro is the hours and the pay. I am able to live that fun, semi-reckless Friday/Saturday night lifestyle I couldn’t enjoy or bring myself to do back in high school or college. Yet my biggest fear is staying stuck–to always have the same things to complain about, and have my friends moving on and tired of hearing about the same, sad story. I am still envious of my friends who proudly say that the stress they endure is worth the trouble. At one point, I have to start seeking a better, and truly just as beneficial opportunity. The question is, when. There’s also the matter of timing, and having that perfect chance come about. Nothing is entirely in my control–there is the willingness of another party to let me grow, and if I am the right fit.

The year is halfway over. I’ll give this a year to settle, and I will hope and pray that the universe does lead me in the right direction. And of course, that I can find the courage to take that leap of faith.

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Finally

Well, this is embarassing.

After several determined posts to update this site regularly, the wave that is work took over and directed me otherwise. That, along with still having no installed Internet connection at my weekday flat.

The deadlines at the work place have certainly been stressful, along with the annoying reality of uncooperative and irresponsible parties. Complaints aside, I’m just doing everything to the best of my abilities, despite each to-do list growing longer each day. It got to a point where I couldn’t sleep one night, with all these ideas and unchecked portions in my mental to-do list. That night terrified me, making me think if the stress I put up with is all really worth the trouble. Then I thought, I have responsibilities and I might as well finish them. As disheartening the production process can be, seeing you and your colleague’s worth put together still gives me another kind of feeling.

Work woes aside, I’ve been able to enjoy the southern provinces as well in the last two weekends. During the labor day weekend, The North Face invited me to their 100KM marathon event. During the race coverage, we were brought to the scenic Mt. Isarog, particularly to its majestic waterfalls.

View of the sunrise before we went trekking to the falls
I wasn’t expecting to trek to the falls and capture the sunrise from the top of the mountain, making the trip all the more meaningful and pleasant. I also ‘ran’ 11 kilometers–well, more like walked 9, then ran only 2–in the spirit of joining in the event’s competition. The cramps were awful the next day, but having done the 11KM gave me another unexpected but fulfilling feeling. It also inspired me to be more outdoorsy. The mountains of my country are truly another site, and I hope I can condition my body to experience all of them.
The next weekend, my high school friends plus our adopted friend Amelie took advantage of Sandari Batulao’s free forest trek. 
 My adventurous crew finally arriving after riding the bus from Manila
 A shot of the forest foliage we passed by; the green shade cheated by Canon IXUS’ Foliage setting
The forest trek was long but doable, with a lot of Balete trees’ roots stretching for miles into and up the ground.  Had I been raised by old-school Filipino parents, it would have terrified me to see all these old Balete that towered over what seemed like 50 feet. But, the beauty of the tree’s intricate roots, legendary size, and the calming silence (broken of course, by me and my hyper friends :)) allowed me to appreciate these amazing specimens of nature.
I do live in a beautiful country, and I cannot wait to explore more of its different sights and sounds.