Forgive me for being vague in this entry. I have this strange superstition that if I set things on a public medium, it would be disproved or made more uncertain the next day.
It’s been a strange week. I’ve had to adjust a lot, professionally. The work life has been a lot lonelier, what with my partner/seatmate/shock absorber/editor/fellow writer/travel photographer (nacks!) moving on to the advertising world. The load is heavier, hence the responsibilities have grown and my focus split into three. Three magazines, to be exact. It’s what I’ve been doing technically, for the last nine months, but facing all of them alone has made me realize how much work we’ve been handling.
But I shouldn’t complain. I have a job, a great relationship with my officemates, and enough money to feed myself, buy basic needs, and purchase extra luxuries.
I have been complaining A LOT I’ve noticed. Well, I don’t blame myself sometimes. Had another person been put under the same conditions, then he/she would have little to look forward to. It came to a point when I was just desperate to get out because I felt all that nine months worth of work wasn’t appreciated. Things were simply done to ‘pay the rent’, as the saying goes, and live out of necessity.
Then I guess the universe was tired of my whining and gave me a little appreciation. I have mixed feelings about this form of ‘appreciation.’ I know it makes me stay, makes the job less about getting through the day and paying for necessities, but I’m just not sure how long enough. I’ve heard positive feedback from telling a few people the news, saying they’re proud and they hope I can do better things with the responsibility. Then there are those who understand that ONE person can only do so much. One person, three magazines, just as I previously indicated. My OC nature and amazing powers with a “:)” in a text can only go so far in pulling things together.
So, for now, I can only hope that the opportunities grow and the challenges I can overcome. I’ll have to tread the waters a little more carefully, but still with that touch that got me there in the first place.
Here’s to a new chapter ahead. And to hoping I won’t be alone in the long run.