From 2010 to 2011

Mathematically, momentum is equals to an object’s mass times its velocity. College physics (and my major chemistry subjects) only managed to keep my attention when the concepts discussed could be discussed poetically. Momentum was one of them. In less ‘nerd-y’/’nosebleed’ speak, it is an object’s ability to stay in motion. An object with a larger mass and velocity would be harder to stop once it starts moving.

In life’s metaphorical sense, we want to keep our momentum in the new goals and attitudes we hope to achieve in the year’s beginning. Quit smoking. Exercise more. Save more, spend less. Have a more positive attitude. But we also know how difficult it is to keep these resolutions, what with the unexpected temptations and challenges the world throws at us as the months change. Resolution, fortitude, and determination are concepts lost in the blur of our new responsibilities and those problems that never seem to get any easier.

Looking back on 2010–my sister’s accident, struggling through finances, career disappointments, job challenges, unspoken family problems, personal insecurities, couple fights–all those things I fail to mention over cheerful holiday talk; I have no excuse to lose momentum this year. I’ve shed the tears and earned strength and self-respect no easy life could ever teach me. The hard decisions, the painful aftermaths, and the never ending (and unchanging) disappointments were and are here to make me a better person, and I have to prove that to myself that I can be someone this year.

There are more challenges up ahead: my sister leaving for five months (then a few months after she comes back) and the possibility of my mom working in the US in September. I may be left alone here, while my family is on the other side of the world. I could also be moving to our flat in Manila in the next month. There’s also the crossroads I’ve been in with my career, and whether or not I will push through with graduate studies in the year. And the stories I told myself I’d write. Oh, and my solo trip to a city where motorcycles are kings of the road.

So many questions, and I have yet to find the answers. From what I’ve learned in 2010, I cannot expect the conclusion to come in an instant. The universe will show the signs and I should take advanced action to prepare as much as I can. Then I can move as fast as I can, and not be afraid to stop and lose that momentum. As for the bumps along the way, I shouldn’t be afraid. Strength has been constantly taught to me. Sometimes it was forced fed to me, but at least I’ve got it in my system. 

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