Jaded

I’m not a big fan of my parish. I don’t think I ever will be.

But I go to mass to get a sense of calm, some sort of perspective on the week that past, the things that are happening, and what I hope for the rest of my life.

Lately, however, it’s been making my blood boil. Apart from the sometimes forced Sunday habit (making it feel more like a job than something I really wanna do), my parish calls the attendees to recite a prayer against the “anti-life” forces of today.

I may not be an editor in chief of a magazine, but I spend my weekdays rephrasing, creating, editing, and making words concise and consumable for a decent read. And that prayer, that GOD FORSAKEN prayer, is full of hypheluting, flower-y, and over dramatic words.  Words so exaggerated that they forget the essence of the matter it’s actually praying for.

I haven’t kneeled or said the words out loud. I sit, stay silent, and shake my head at the people surrounding me.

Two things distress me about this prayer:

1. The expectation that one should kneel automatically, without reading the prayer first and deciding for themselves if that is what they want for this country.
2. The use of exaggerated phrases, such as ‘destruction of the country’s moral fiber’ simply because the government wants to give parents and women proper health care and a right to having a choice in planning their families.

It’s really not religion, per se, that I have a problem with, it’s the people running it. I’ve never grown into a religious person, and I don’t think I’m near to becoming one. It’s not that I don’t believe in God, I’m just tired of dealing with forces imposing their beliefs on me. Even if it’s the church I was baptized under.

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