All over the place

Focus, focus, focus. I lacked it in college, leading to an unimpressive (but not terrible, thank god) undergraduate transcript. I lack it in my scheduling, causing chores to be undone and non-priorities fulfilled instead. Work, is an even more complicated scenario. You could liken my job to those fashion interns on reality shows–or maybe Betty Suarez would be a more accurate comparison (minus the Henry Grubstick, obviously :)). Multi-tasking, deadline shifts, the need to be superwoman. Not that I don’t mind multi-tasking. I’ve done it since grade school, nothing’s gonna stop me now. But I’m turning 23 soon, and at some point, I have to define where my career and interests will lean.

The past year has been one of major decisions, events, and opportunities. Resigning from my first job after less than a year. Dealing with a family accident. Struggling with my savings, paying for bills. And now, I’m in a job I’ve dreamed of. Dreams become reality, and of course, such a reality comes with a price. It’s not all it’s cut out to be but the mere promise of it all gets you by. This can lead to something greater. Isn’t that what gets us through? The potential, the coming together of dreams that have been thought of, built, and worked hard for? And then the need for patience comes in. I’ve waited. Having waited in college, when I was unsure of who I was and what I wanted to do. Then there it was. Now, here I am. Writing for magazines after graduating from a technical degree. But the unsatisfied thirst and hunger of being human persists. I want to get published. I want a reader to open a book and aspire to be something great. I want to see the world, lose myself in the culture of Southeast Asian neighbors and cold Western nations. But, oh, oh, where does this all go? And when does the building up start and come to a staggering finish?

With three months into 2012, I’ve decided it’s time to own my early-twentiness (yuck) and put everything together. Little projects, whether it be a blog or that ever-growing reading list. Seeing the world, learning how much bigger everything and everyone else than our daily, self-centered existence. Increase that damn portfolio and find the time for what is necessary. It will take months, years, but there is nothing like working towards something higher. Things have begun, ended, and are yet to start again. Here’s to embracing life and taking it by the reigns.

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